can I just take a pause ?

Have you ever had the feeling when you just want to drop everything and go away? Is that a bad feeling or is it okay to feel this way sometimes? I want to pause and stop all the life stuff for a little bit. School… mainly school. All our life we were told to go to school, go to work, go to church, etc. Yes, these are important. But do we deserve a pause from all that? I just want to be by myself. Me and God. No one around. No worries. No exams haunting me. As a matter of fact, I should be studying right now because I know 13% of the material that will be on the exam tomorrow. TOMORROW. Or just be with family and only family for a while. Be on a mountain for a few days, maybe a week or two. Just to not worry about failing at the life stuff. It’s okay to fail at trying your best. Right? I’ve prayed for energy, for motivation, for determination. Maybe I didn’t pray hard enough? Maybe that’s a sign? I don’t know. But there is one thing I do know. Whether or not I fail, God will never. He will still love me the same whether I am smarter or not. Whether I have a “title” or not. Whether I finish anything or not. None of what comes with life in this world defines me. Only God can do that. Maybe I do need to finish my degree. Maybe God wants to me to be what I am hoping to be. Maybe there is a reason for me to be an Optometrist. Who knows. But not everything good comes easy, my friends. Sometimes you will fail. And it might take a few tries. But that is how you grow and learn. Maybe this is teaching me to work harder. I don’t know God’s beautiful plan for my life, right now. But I am trying to learn how to go along with it with faith and trust. So you, my friend, don’t give up. No matter the amount of times you may feel like it. You have to know the difference between something you need to just move on from or something you need to fight for. Now what happens then, is totally up to you.

– Aksanna.